Today, I asked my partner a question, I said: “Would you rather have me work a 9-5 or run my own business?” His response was: “I would have you do whatever you would like to do and support you with excelling at it”. I smiled.
Relationships and marriages have been over-flogged as goals. From the #Couplegoals trend to the ‘This could be us’ campaigns on social platforms, there is almost a hidden innuendo that suggests that relationships should lead to happiness. Contrary to popular opinion, Will Smith explained in a video where he speaks about his marriage to his wife of 20 years, Jada Pickett-Smith who he reveals had mentioned to him that “You cannot make a person happy”. This she said was one of marriage’s biggest revelation for her.
He goes on to describe how marriage is a union of two completely different individuals who are on two separate journeys but choose to walk this journey together and he could not have summed it up any better.
We have begun to forget that in marriages and relationships, people are individuals first before they are a couple and it is so important to assume responsibility for our own happiness, goals and accomplishments. It is somewhat impossible and irresponsible to depend on another human being for our own happiness.
You can’t make a home out of a human being. -Nayirah Waheed
In other words, being married or in a relationship won’t fix that void that you fill instead, you need to do the work that it’s going to take to getting you to your place of happy.
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20 Years Ago Today we held hands and walked naively down that aisle. Here’s what I’ve learned since. . Love is Like Gardening… I have learned to focus on HELPING you to BLOSSOM into what YOU want to be (into what you were born to be)… Rather than Demanding that you become what my Fragile Ego needs you to be. . I’ve learned to take pleasure in Nourishing YOUR dreams… Rather than wrestling with you to Fulfill my Selfish Needs & Satiate My Insecurities. . I have learned that Love is Listening. Love is Giving. Love is Freedom. . Happy Anniversary, My Queen! I am forever Devoted to Nurturing your Deepest Truth.
Before his video, Will had put out a post on his instagram account speaking on how he allowed wife, Jada, blossom into what she wanted to become instead of entrenching his own ideals on her as he praised her on their 20 years anniversary.
Watch the video where he dissects happiness and marriage below: