Truthfully, who do you spend the most time with? If you started to think of a partner or an external party, we might have to readjust that. The answer should be yourself.

You have to deal with you more than anyone else. So really, if you think in those terms, the real work always starts with you. You are your biggest priority. Your mindset about yourself will automatically reflect in your life.

Guess what? If you don’t focus on building a solid relationship with yourself, then you will miss out on becoming a better version of you. You will always stay the same and never see different results. We can go to God and ask Him to change us, but He desires for us to make choices for ourselves. He gives us the power from the Holy Spirit to become everything He has called us to.

How can you make the change to become who you really want to be?

Start with falling madly in love with yourself.

Truth be told, you need to learn to clap for yourself even when no one else is clapping.

Self-love is the act of giving to yourself not just through the blissful times but especially and more importantly, when it hurts the most.  The ability to say you know what? “I’m a fighter and a conqueror. This too shall pass” is a powerful statement to make when you’re knee deep in a mess up that might have been even created by you.

Most people think it is absolutely selfish to love yourself. Why? If you don’t love you, then who will other than God? In order for anyone to desire to love you, they have to find something attractive about you. You can go ahead and put on all the makeup you want, get the surgery, and so on. But that doesn’t make you attractive to the right people who are meant to love you. The attraction others will see in you is your character. Who you are on the inside speaks louder than what you give off visually.

Mantras are a good way to affirm positive thoughts. I’m a personal fan of mantras written by Alex Elle as she writes from a place of past hurt to which I feel many women can relate. Speak positively to yourself and your life despite what your surroundings seemingly dictate.

Another way you can show love to yourself is by simply taking the time to prioritize you. I have a solid morning routine that I do not let be interrupted, except for extreme emergencies. Take time away from work, social media, emails sometimes. It doesn’t stop there. You can prioritise getting a monthly massage, getting your nails done, and taking vacations regularly. Don’t feel bad about taking that time or money to spend on myself.

 “You should be so full of yourself that your cup runs over enough to give to others.” -Oprah Winfrey