Who hasn’t, at one time or another, been shunned, disappointed or hurt by someone we thought was our friend? Whether it happened when we’re young or in adulthood we’ve all had friends we valued and trusted, convinced that our lives would be forever entwined. Then, suddenly, Snap. The friendship is over and we’re left wondering what went wrong.
You know it’s happened to you!
As we age having loyal friends becomes more important. We depend on one another for support, compassion and understanding through the joys and sorrows of life. Solid friendships help us remain socially active so that we can continue to thrive and feel a sense of belonging, These relationships help us live a longer quality of life..
But in the current age of global connections it’s not always easy to make new friends. Texting, private messaging and commenting leave out the nuances of nonverbal communication and social skills. This fast-paced mode of reaching out and touching someone can never replace the value of spending quality time face-to-face with family and friends.
We crave finding communities of like-minded people, ones who share our beliefs and experiences. It’s in those tribes where we’ll find comfort and connection.
I know I’m not alone in my desire to be part of a tribe, so if you’resliding by to find yours, let me share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
- Be mindful in your intention-setting. When you’re ready to find your tribe, put it out there! Set clear intentions. Ask the God to support your desire. Try creating a home altar and fill it with sacred objects meant to call in your tribe. Burn incense. Bang a drum. Release old, limiting beliefs by writing them on slips of paper and burning them or by imbuing stones with self-sabotaging beliefs and tossing them in the ocean, a river, a lake, or over your balcony.
- You’re special but you’re not special. Sometimes we let our sense of being “different” or “special” get in the way of belonging. Understand that each of us is unique and individual, but we’re also much more alike than it may appear on the surface when we wear masks and lack the courage to be uncool. Don’t let your ego’s separation story keep you from belonging. Underneath our egos is a matrix of Universal energy that unites us all. We all hold within us sparks of divinity, and when we tap into the Oneness, the illusion of separateness dissolves and we’re left with what we most crave – intimate connection soul-to-soul.
- Surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Take an art class. Join a women’s or men’s group. Sign up for a workshop. Find a spiritual community that feels authentic and lights you up. Engage in activities that ignite your soul.
- Ditch judgment. Someone from your tribe might be standing right next to you in the grocery store, but if you label her as “other” because you don’t like her hairstyle or her fashion sense or what she put in her shopping cart, you might walk right by the person who could have been your next BFF. Instead of judging someone, dare to smile and make eye contact. Look past the surface into the beauty and resonance of that person’s soul.
- Call in your tribe. Don’t just sit around and wait for your people to find you. Put your desires out there on social media. Blog about your tribe, so people can tell if they long to be part of it. Be specific about what you long for.
Dont be shy. Take action!