With a black eye and swollen face, Lydia entered her parents home and told them with tears in her eyes, “I’m done with Paul”.

It is really heartbreaking, the pains that women go through in the society especially in the name of “marriage”. This wonderful institution of love has taken up a different meaning, now that these days, instead of the amazing gift of love, friendship and family that marriage is all about, it has now become the bane of existence for so many women.

Women, we are also a huge part of the troubles we cause to ourselves and the society at large. For heaven’s sake, you are the backbone of your man. You are the crown of your man. You may not be married now but you will become someone’s wife tomorrow. You would become someone’s mother tomorrow.

Do not jump into marriage if you are not ready for it. That is another chapter of your life and you have to be psychologically, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually ready for it. Remember the wedding is for a day and the marriage is for life.

Forever is too long to be unhappy. Get married for the right reasons and to the right person. Like my dad always says, “Get married to your best friend” because, at the end of the day when the lovey-dovey mood isn’t in play, it is your friendship that would keep you together.

In all things, apply wisdom. Never flaunt your money in the face of your husband if you earn more than him. A man can endure your tantrums but when you take away his pride as a man or insult his ego, you bring out the beast in him.

Men have a natural ego because they are the head of the home. That is the position God gave to them. That he may not earn as much as you do financially or is lacking in some other way is NO AVENUE for you to wash him down or taunt him. He is a man. Remember that.

Love him more and help him understand you do not see him as less as he may think he is. Do your hardest to make him feel comfortable with you and in your excess money. Do not make it seem or known to the world that you shoulder the burden of your home.

Let him be a man. Let him remain a man. DO NOT EVER sing it constantly to him that he doesn’t man up to his responsibility. That is a free ticket you have given him to become intimate friends with alcohol, depression, frustrations and anger. No matter what, accord him his deserved respect. Be his hope when he thinks life is meaningless.

Be his pillar of strength when he falls deeper and deeper within himself. Soothe him and encourage him always. You have no idea the magnitude of impact this does to a man. Stop being a broken record and throw the victim card out the window. You are not or better yet, you are no longer a victim but a victor. You are great.

You are in charge of your life and responsible for your own happiness. Understand that and apply it. No matter what hurtful words anyone says to you – be it your husband or in-laws or friends or whoever, let it bounce off you and not affect you one bit because all the devil is after is your sadness and sorrow but once you show him that there is now a new management in your life and His name is Jesus, he would flee.

Make God the ruler of your home and you will see the major transformation as His glory shines forth and radiates in all your lives.


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