Surfing the internet this morning, I stumbled on a post on LindaIkeji where it was reported that a lady mistakenly stabbed her husband as a result of protecting herself from domestic violence. The lady named Akinbobola Olamide is a mother of two kids and a school teacher by profession who had been subjected to domestic and mental torture since she got married to her husband.

On this fateful day, in their place of residence located in Ikorodu; her husband in his usual behaviour grabbed and slammed her on the floor where he began to rain blows on her. According to her, this was the norm for him as she revealed that he had acted that way even in public and neighbours could testify to it.

But the event took a very drastic turn when she tried to escape but discovered her husband had locked the only exit to their home. In order to save herself, she ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife with the aim of scaring him away but a scuffle ensued and the knife penetrated cutting into his skin and leading to his death.

What is the point of this story? You might ask. Domestic violence is a major problem in the world and not just in Nigeria but the sad part to it is that somewhere in the minds of African men, it is socially acceptable to hit a lady because it has been likened as a way of instilling discipline.

Domestic violence is an act of intimidation and on no grounds should it be acceptable. In Nigeria, there is insufficient data on domestic violence which is primarily due to the stigma and silence surrounding this issue but as of recent women who experience domestic violence are beginning to speak up, seek for justice or walk away from it.

According to a research by United Nations, in Nigeria, domestic violence occurs across all socio-economic and cultural backgrounds. Twenty- eight percent of all women reported experiencing physical violence since the age of 15. Among women who experienced violence since age 15, a total of 45 percent reported that their current husband or partner was the perpetrator and 7 percent reported that the perpetrator was a former husband or partner.

Domestic Violence affects women in different ways:

Loss of self-worth

you begin to have low self-esteem; I remember reading a magazine where Mary J. Blige was interviewed and she spoke about her first marriage. She said her husband then, constantly abused her, made her feel ugly in fact he told her she looked like a donkey and that he got married to her out of pity. Imagine someone torturing you mentally to the point where you begin to believe you look like that animal they call you. It doesn’t stop there; you even go as far as questioning your sense of self.

Difficulty in trusting people

You find it hard to trust people because you feel everyone is out on a mission to hurt you.


It can lead to depression which is a rising cause for recent deaths in the world today.

Physical effects

Domestic abuse can have wide-ranging physical effects on the victims which may include: physical bruises, irregular menstrual cycle and even fertility issues among women.

Domestic Violence goes deeper than what we sometimes tend to make of it as it can have far-reaching consequences not only for the victim but even for the children who grow up in such homes. I hope more women begin to realise that they don’t have to wait until they lose their lives or kill the attacker before it comes to an end. On no grounds should any woman be forced or made to believe this despicable behaviour is acceptable.


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