Confidence is one of those game-changing qualities like rapport, empathy and courage that is both incredibly valuable and highly elusive. As soon as we “try” to be confident, we’ve already failed. As soon as we “act” more confident, we’re already pretending. Telling someone to “be more confident” is like telling someone to be taller. That’d be nice, but how?
The answer to that question requires a new approach to confidence one that goes beyond the “fake it till you make it!” mentality, and moves toward something more authentic, more grounded and more holistic.
We need to get clear on what true confidence really looks like, so we can understand how it works, how to cultivate it and how to rediscover it when it wanes.
Our confidence can also appear quite strong, only to crumble in the face of struggle, criticism or failure. In those moments, it seems like confidence is nothing more than a fleeting feeling, a passing belief in our own power, a temporary reprieve between periods of self-doubt.
So what is true confidence, really?
It’s a stable connection to the fact that we can do what we want to do, feel how we want to feel, and be who we want to be in this world.
It’s also a sense that we are enough—that we aren’t lacking in some fundamental sense that prevents us from navigating the world in a healthy, positive, productive way.
You might ask, why should we have true confidence? You need it to amplify your success, leadership, influence and of course to enhance your quality.