Relationships are all the same irrespective of if you are a fairy princess who has kissed a couple of frogs and waiting for prince charming to wrap up your story with a “they lived happily ever after” or perhaps you are a fairy princess locked up in an enchanted castle and waiting for her ‘hero’ to come and save her. The stories are all the same, after all, there is always a prince charming showing up at the end of the tale.
Love leaves us with butterflies fluttering in our bellies and sometimes, we tend to forget some salient things.
Matters of the heart are delicate areas to touch, sometimes we feel like there are sacred areas that should not be looked at but the truth is that it must be considered. If you must swim in a pool, then you must at least feel the temperature of the water with your feet. If you want to make your relationship work, then you should know who you are going into a relationship with.
It goes beyond just knowing the name of his cologne to his favourite meal down to his favourite Tv show. Surprises are great but when they are unpleasant, it is indeed scary. This is in no way an interview session but as you get along, it will be easy to figure this out ;
What is he doing presently and what are his long-term goals
It is important that you note what his dispensation is towards job and catering for his family. Is he a better entrepreneur than an employee? These are things you have to find out about him. Do not ask this question just to prove how nosey you can be, rather let it as a deep sense of care for his welfare and the life you both envisage together. Have an idea of where he proposes to see himself in the next five years in relation to career, business, raising a family and spirituality. Finding out how he handles finances is also very important.
Does he see his mother and sisters as precious gems?
On a rate of 1- 10, what is the value he allocates to them?
You need to know what his relationship with his mother and sisters look like. It is a determinant of some level, as this helps you figure what value he gives to women and it’s an inkling of how he will treat you.
Fears and values
Fears and values are real and we all have them. Is he scared of commitment, fatherhood, responsibilities or failure? Being afraid is not something to be shaken about, because it helps to figure out what you are in for. Value systems should not be neglected either. When your values align, it is a good proof that you both are in for a great partnership.
Does his life's compass spot your direction
Are there chances that he thinks about commitment? Does he see you playing a role in his life on a long-term basis?
What fuels his drive?
People have different things that motivate them. Everyone has their high’s and low’s, you will need to how to motivate him when he is on the latter side. It might be fame, p[raise, quest to succeed, love or money.
Who is his ideal woman?
Make sure that his idea of the perfect woman is you, just as you want him to match your idea of the perfect man. Does it bother him when a woman is very independent or talkative? Would he prefer someone who is more homely? Does he look forward to having a strong confident woman as his partner? Someone who’s great with kids? This will help you figure out if you are game for this.
Traces of untold love stories
This is going to be a little difficult at first but being open to this discussion will help you both have a healthier and more open relationship. Are there tales of heartbreaks he still clinging to or love child from a failed relationship?