So, the other day, Tochi got dressed to attend her friend’s party. Wearing a lovely casual top on a jean trouser with her hair and makeup perfectly done, she looked really amazing as she sat in the living room waiting for her fiancé Uche to come pick her up.
“You look really good,” I complimented her, meaning every word of it. She smiled, beaming with joy.
Suddenly, the doorbell went off. I sprang up to go check who our visitor was and there he was, looking all dashing. “Come on in, Uche,” I said cheerily. “Tochi is waiting for you.”
My heart was thumping as I admired the couple that was in the same room with me. I was eager to hear the words of compliment Uche was going to say to his beautiful fiancée at that moment. However, my expectations were shattered as the next thing that came to my hearing was a blow.
“How come you look so ordinary? I was expecting you would be dressed in that lovely sequin dress I got you last week.”
“Uche, we are going for a casual get-together and I feel like wearing this outfit and not that short dress. By the way, it’s too short for the occasion.” Tochi replied angrily.
“This is the reason you can never stand out from the crowd. You are really boring,” Uche said with disdain.
“What?” Tochi fumed in anger. “You think I need to dress slutty before you find me exciting and outstanding?”
From where I sat, I felt pained at how Uche spoke to Tochi. He seemed to always criticize her negatively for almost everything and that fight put an end to that outing. I could imagine how hurt Tochi felt and the fact that she was been compared to others and called “boring”, was downright insulting.
Storming back to her room and with the loud bang of the door, I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me to stay off her path for the time being for her to cool off. Uche left angrily too.
However, the whole scenario got me thinking. Why do people think it necessary to always put others down with their criticisms? It’s not like they are perfect in everything. They too are flawed and I guess they won’t find it funny if others put them down but most importantly, how can we ignore people’s negative criticisms and just carry on happily with our lives?
Here are a few tips:
- Be your own worst critic so that the hurtful criticisms from others would only bounce off you and not hurt you.
- Remember that the negative criticism of others is more of who they are and not a reflection on you.
- Those criticising you may not know you very well. They find it easier to sit on their moral high horse and pass judgements.
- Your opinion of you is what matters most.
- Be confident in who you are and what you are made of.
You definitely can’t control the opinion of others but how you respond to them is very well within your means. Do not give others power over you by making their words affect you. No! Stand firm and stand tall. It’s all in your attitude. Focus on having a positive outlook on everything and turn deaf ears to every negative criticism.
You would be better for this.
PHOTO CREDIT: Reel Urban News