SINGLE MOMS SHOULD HAVE FOUR SHOULDERS
Martin Luther King, Jr. asserts that “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” A lot of issues may tend to be easier to deal with if we give in to more communication. There are a lot of issues people don’t want to talk about simply because it doesn’t appeal to another person’s ego, belief, standards irrespective of the fact that the issue at stake could be affecting us directly and the other fellow probably indirectly.
There are some strong women who should not be put down, talked down or spoken about in hushed whispers. They are stronger than you can ever imagine. Women who cook their meals, go about the school runs, bring in the pay cheques, raise kids, do their plumbing jobs, probably a little bit of electrical work too. These are the single moms.
Being a single mom is not something to be put behind bars for. Some of these women are single moms due to divorce, separation, being widowed and also by choice. It will be good to note that the psychological health of the single mom’s family are built on her emotional health and strength.
The single mom needs a daily in-flow of fresh air. I can’t guarantee a daily supply of oxygen cylinders however, I have managed to come up with a few ideas that just might help you breathe easier:
Get your finance right
Raising a family on one source of income is difficult for a conventional family that could possibly have two working parents. So, a single mom needs good income too. Running a small start-up, going into long-term investment, planning ahead for college and retirement will greatly help your finances.
The kids will always be kids
Irrespective of whatever is going. Your little darlings will always be kids, try not to be too hard on them when the days seem gloomy. They are the shinning stars in your dark sky.
With the absence of a partner, it’s sometimes tempting to rely too heavily on children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But children have neither the emotional capacity nor the life experience to act as substitute adult partners. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, or expressing your frustrations to them too often, seek out adult friends and family members to talk to. Or seek counseling if necessary.
Everyone needs four shoulders
We are strong but our bodies are still composed of flesh and blood. There ‘d be a time when you will need a support system. Trust me, everyone needs a shoulder to cry on or to get succour from.
You could join a single-parent support group, or, if finances allow, hire a trusted sitter to help out with the kids or someone to assist with housework. Have someone you can talk to.
While it’s tempting to try to handle everything alone, ask friends and family members for help. It does not make you weak and believe me, it improves your mental health.
Maintain a daily routine
Try to schedule meals, chores, bedtimes, and other family functions at regular hours so that your child knows exactly what to expect each day. A consistent routine will help your child feel more secure and help you feel more organized.
Dont spare the rod and spoil the child
The society expects quite a lot from your kid simply because they think he or she is being raised by a single mom. Raise them right.
If you are divorced or separated, work with your spouse to create and observe consistent rules and methods of discipline (there’s nothing more stressful than having one parent undermine the other). If your child has other caregivers, talk to them about how you expect your child to be disciplined.
Children thrive when they know which behaviors are expected of them and which rules they need to follow.
Be your kids buddie
Answer your child’s questions in an open, honest, and age-appropriate way. Make sure that your child gets the help and support he needs to deal with difficult emotions. Make out time to bond with them, encourage them to tell you everything. Share some of your worries with them too, they will learn to trust you.
Wear a positive attitude like a hat
Give yourself a treat when necessary. Even if it’s something as simple as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or having a chat with a friend, setting aside a little personal time will give you a chance to refuel. Exercise regularly, maintain a proper diet, get enough rest, and seek balance in your life.