It’s pretty easy for people to talk about red and green flags in relationships these days, however, talking about them in discussions doesn’t erase them.
We still see the manifestations of these red flags and their effects on relationships. Statistics have it that relationships are more likely to dwindle down the pipelines in this generation than previous ones despite our seemingly increased self-awareness.
Red flags often pose as warning signs we see in the behavioural patterns of our significant other but most times we choose to unsee them apparently because we are blinded by love.
Here are some red flags you shouldn’t smile at or even allow slip by;
1. An obsession with social media
While media and social platforms have become heavily inundated in our day-to-day lives, watching out if someone is a little too into their profile and following is important. See this as a red flag since it can allude to the person being insecure or self-absorbed.
- Lack of communication
We all know that communication is a key pillar in any relationship. If your partner seems absent or like they’re not listening to you while you’re speaking or doesn’t respond to your texts or messages, this is a sign that they are disconnected or distracted. Opt to have a conversation to see if your different communication styles can be worked through with a little patience and understanding.
- Controlling or jealous behaviour
Some jealousy here and there can be harmless, and it is pretty common in a relationship! But if your partner starts to become possessive or controlling of your plans, what you wear, who you hang out with, or isolates you from your friends and family, this can be a serious sign of emotional abuse down the line.
- Bad relationships with friends or family
Lack of familial relationships or talking poorly about friends and family may be cause for concern, especially if these things are important to you. Give them the benefit of the doubt and ask your partner why this is the case before considering it a deal-breaker.
Perhaps their upbringing made it hard for them to be close to their family, but at least they should have worked hard to cultivate a strong ‘chosen family’ in their group of friends.
- Extreme emotional reactions
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the “silent treatment” could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behaviour in the future.
Lack of empathy may mean they’re void of emotion and care. In other words: You want someone whose emotions are in control and appropriate for the situation.
Gaslighting is definitely a hot topic in modern dating right now, so you’ve probably heard of it. Basically, it means they turn the blame on you for something they did or hold you responsible for the way they reacted to a situation. It’s just a way to blow you up and make you think you are crazy.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation meant to leave you feeling insecure and questioning your sanity, so trust your gut if something feels wrong and leave the relationship.
Now you know these red flags and can identify them, so what do you do when you notice them?
Take time to assess yourself to be sure you are on the right track and not overshooting things. Then communicate to your partner about how these red flags or behavioural patterns affect you.
Stick to the golden rule of not settling. Don’t talk about it and sweep it under the mat afterwards.
Resolve that you both will work it out or possibly end the relationship.
This could be hard but you will want to be sorry rather than swallow a pill of regret.