With her lips pouted and her face sullen, she complained: “He does not have any atom of regard for me.” The counsellor listened to her intently and tried to pacify her. I was waiting by the hallway shifting from foot to foot as I waited for her to finish her session with her client so I could deliver the package I had brought for her. Their voice was a little bit loud, probably because of the apprehensive woman.

“Or is it because I am like this? Is this why he does not value me?” she persistently asked. I drew the line there.

She had personally attached a clause to her value. Self-value is more behavioural than emotional, more about how you act towards what you value, including yourself than how you feel about yourself compared to others. Appreciation of value cuts across women, spouses, family members, friends,  businesses, employees, business owners, employers and more.

Your value is a sum of how you define yourself and its clear communication.

Do you feel good about yourself or feel a sense of worthlessness or shame?

  • When others show you feelings of worth, capability, gladness, hopefulness, confidence, is it easy for you to feel valued?
  • Would it be easy for you to come up with a list of 10 things that are good about you?
  • When you are disappointed or in challenging situations, is it easy and natural for you to draw upon and feel soothed, reassured, and encouraged by a strong underlying sense of self-worth?

If your response to these questions falls in the affirmative then you are on the right track, however, if you find your answers in the negative, then you should know that you need to create an avenue for re-adjustment.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

Make it easy for you to see the worth in others, and to feel of worth to yourself. You can recognize this when others appreciate, seek, like, or otherwise value you, and you ought to take it in, with a sense of gladness, confidence, worthiness, adequacy, easing, or optimism. On your own, independent of what others think of you, you should be able to see your own abilities, warm-heartedness, virtues, and other good qualities.


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