Yesterday, the internet was set ablaze with videos from the hit talk show series, ‘The Real’. This time around however, it wasn’t a guest that was the story of the day, it was Jeannie Mai, a host on the show speaking on how her 11 year marriage had just ended.

There were never any lies, no betrayal, no cheating, none of that.

The former ‘How do I look’ host went further to explain why her marriage is coming to an end. It was due to her decision to not have children while he on the other hand, wanted to have kids. This led to several remarks, many from women who believed that she should have stuck to it and had children to make him happy despite the fact that this might have made her resentful and maybe even not maternal because she really didn’t want children.


Her announcement is a not-so gentle reminder of how important the pre-marriage conversation is because you’re signing up to do life with another person meaning you inherit their flaws, their strengths, their financial prowess or lack thereof. The ability to be open to inheriting all of these and then some is something you need to have prepared yourself for. That’s where the talk comes in. You need to have the talk however uncomfortable it might seem. During the talk, both partners should come to the table open and straight forward just like you would a business where you both are getting into a partnership. This is integral for the success of any marriage.

Marriage is a commitment but how far are you willing to go to compromise for the sake of your spouse’s happiness? This is a question that you need to both think through when sitting at the table because like in Jeannie Mai’s table conversation with her now ex-husband, Fred, things change. People grow older and their needs diversify with growth so you need to both sincerely speak about scenarios where your wants and need could potentially change, could it make or break your marriage?

“Marriage is a business”. I’ve always hated this phrase but her announcement was a stark reminder that it should be treated as a partnership arrangement. Have the difficult talks and be very clear on what you want where possible. Make it clear where you will never be willing to compromise before walking down the isle. Marriage isn’t a fairy tale, unfortunately, it’s real life that requires some hard work. Are you looking to get married soon? Get your gloves ready, you’ll have to get dirty.


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