I WAS LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES, UNTIL I FOUND YOU
I had always wanted to be loved, pampered and adored. Which isn’t a bad-thing the only problem with that was I kept looking in the wrong places for it.
From the fumes of cigarette to the lips of a man who skillfully told me lies, to the soft moans that escaped his lips when we had sex. I went on a journey of wanting this man to be my all but he wanted nothing of it but I could not see clearly, I was blinded by infatuation because that couldn’t have been love.
All my expectations of what I wanted a man to be for me must have been inspired by the romantic novels I stayed up to read at night as a teenager; From fallen angels to werewolves and their mates, from unbelievable coincidence to love tied by destiny, from love happened to happy endings. All these didn’t help my young and naive mind, it gave me an unrealistic description of love. It made me look for love in all the wrong places, at the wrong times, and with the wrong people.
The one who laid his life for mine came a thousand of years ago to prove his love for me. He walked into my life unexpectedly and showed me the real definition of love.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Rom. 5:8
I know it sounds cliché or straight from a love song but really he did. I thought that finding love was like an explosion, bright, loud and blinding but his love for me has shown me that it could also be silent, calm, and serene.
His love for me was ever present although I did not readily accept it. I thought I was too far gone; I’ve had series of abortion for the man I easily set my legs apart for, just maybe he would fall in love with me, I was battling with low self-esteem because I couldn’t understand why he still went after other girls even though I gave him sex with ease, he had said if I gave him sex it will just be me, just us.
I thought my baggage was too much for Jesus to deal with; fornication, abortions, drugs, low self-esteem, depression but the day came when I knew I had to give Jesus a try. The drugs and sex stopped filling the void in my heart, I wanted more and with shaking legs and a heavy heart I felt my lips move as I said;
Dear Jesus, I need you. Please help me.
That brought around a turnaround in my life, his love for me taught me that no baggage is too heavy for him and my past has no hold on my future – what a relieve!
Have you experienced this kind of love before? Will you like for me to introduce you to him? You can start with the simple prayers I said a while back