In essence, mom guilt is the feeling that you’re not doing enough for your children. However, the source of the guilt can vary from person to person as well as the onset. Here are five common types of mom guilt and how to overcome them.
Many moms report feeling generalized guilt in regard to their children and how they’re measuring up as parents. As parents, we always try to do what’s best for our kids, but children don’t come with manuals and the right decisions aren’t always black and white. Further, parents are imperfect just like anyone else so there will be times when we inevitably fall short and it doesn’t feel good.
- How to deal with general mom guilt: While for some, mom guilt will never completely disappear, there are ways to cope. First foremost, you must give yourself grace. You are human and are doing the best that you can. Additionally, connecting with other moms for transparent discussions about your circumstances will help to remind you that none of us are perfect.
Working mom guilt
Another terrible form of mom guilt is the guilt that plagues working moms. Some working mothers report being overcome by feelings of extreme guilt due to the fact that their careers leave them with less time to spend with their children.
- How to overcome working mom guilt: First, remind yourself that you work so hard so that you can provide your children with the things that they need to be healthy, happy, well-rounded children. Additionally, while you may work often, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make the time that you do have together meaningful. Whether it’s a ride in the car to school or breakfast on a Sunday morning, try be mentally present and engaged.
Some say that if you wait until you can afford children, you’ll never have them. Raising kids is expensive and it’s easy to feel guilty when you can’t give your children some of the extra things that they ask for.
- How to cope with financial guilt: Remember that you’re doing the best that you can with what you have and as much as possible, focus on creating meaningful memories and experiences with your children.
Divorced mom guilt
When you get married and start a family, no one plans for divorce. However, there are times when divorce really is the best option for all parties involved. Of course, this doesn’t make it easier for moms who may be overwhelmed with feelings of guilt for splitting up the family. Further, it can be heartbreaking to watch their children struggle with their feelings in the wake of divorce.
- How to overcome divorced mom guilt: Few people are willing to go through the pain of divorce without good reason. Remind yourself that you had your reasons. Many children of divorce go on to be successful, well-rounded adults. Remind your children that there are many different family structures and if possible, try to schedule family activities with your ex.
Single mom guilt
Raising a child alone isn’t easy and some single moms experience guilt due to the fact that they’re stretched thin and are unable to raise their kids in a two-parent household.
- How to cope with single mom guilt: While some kids are blessed to have two present parents, your child is still extremely blessed to have you as their mother. Try not to stress about the things that are beyond your control. You can’t force someone to be a present parent, but you can control being a loving and caring mother to your kids.