HOLD YOUR HORSES ON THE SELF-CRITICISM AND GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
“My hair is too short,” “I have annoying feet,” “My writing is terrible,” “My teeth is crooked,” “I am too naive and gullible,” “I am just unattractive,” ….and it goes on and on.
While some level of self-criticism is allowed, constructive criticism, by the way, we should be careful not to become too critical of ourselves. We are only allowed to be self-critical to the point that it causes us to make a positive change in ourselves, help us become better and increase self-love.
That is growth.
However, getting too hard on yourself over every little flaw or mistake just throws wide open, the door for comparison with others and that is super UNHEALTHY. Give yourself room for improvement, owning to your mistakes and learning from them. Don’t be too critical that you don’t see anything good in you.
Just as lack of self-criticism can sometimes come off as one being, well, somewhat narcissistic, being too self-critical can be so bad that it becomes debilitating. Here are some signs that you may be erring too far on the side of self-criticism.
1. Undervalue your good experiences
No matter what great feat you achieve, and no matter how much other people may revell in your success, you don’t find that much joy in it. Instead you pick on the one thing you could have done but didn’t or the one thing you could have said, but didn’t or the way you think you embarrased yourself. You are just good at tearing apart your good experiences.
2. You focus more on your mistakes than your joy
It doesn’t matter how almost perfect you do something, you hardly get any joy in that. Instead you concentrate more on the little “off” that didn’t make that thing completely perfect. You could get great compliments from people on a job welldone, but that one correction you get is what you end up fixating on and you ruin your joy.
3. You obsess over your mistakes.
While you find it really easy to forgive other people, you are unable to forgive yourself and get over past mistakes. You see them as dents in your reputation and don’t see anything good in yourself. Even though you may learn one or two lessons from these mistakes, you don’t see the value in them. Instead, you kind of wish you knew all you know now without making those mistakes.
4. You are unappreciative of compliments
You find fault with compliments you receive. You don’t find any truth in them and think you don’t deserve them. Sometimes, you even have an arguement with the people who compliment you causing them to even feel really dumb for giving the compliments.
5. You feed on comparison.
You feel so insecure and unappreciative of yourself that you compare your life to others constantly. You don’t even count your successes or achievements as anything big instead, you focus on what that other person has that you don’t have yet.