Relationships are the building blocks for all community organizing activities. Whether you want to organize a social gathering, build a business or even organise a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) for your company, you will need lots of good relationships. Why? Because the relationships we have with our coworkers, the communities we serve, and even our adversaries are the means for achieving our goals. People don’t work in isolation: we need to be working together!

It might be a bit intimidating to find a way to bond with people, at first. However, if you focus on showing that you really care about the person you’re talking to, make some meaningful conversation, or work on making people feel comfortable, then you’ll be on your way to connecting with anybody without a hitch.

Go beyond similarities & share emotions. When connecting with others, most people first look for similarities and common interests. While these have their role, commonalities can only take you so far.

In reality, focusing too much on finding similarities can be a hindrance to real connection, especially as they can be tricky to spot from someone you’ve just met. Relying on similarities such as a favourite sports team or music band can lead to a feeling of forced connection that is quite superficial.

Also, you might share similarities with someone, yet still struggle to form a stronger bond.

Go beyond sharing commonalities and instead focus on sharing emotional states with the other person.

The idea is that when we are trying to connect with one another, we are constantly putting up emotional bids, which can be bids for attention, celebration, extending the conversation, humour, affection, emotional support, etc. These bids are attempts to get people to see them, recognize them, and share the emotion with them.

It turns out, the more we share emotions, the easier we can form strong relationships.


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