ARE YOU NAGGING? BREAK THE HABIT
The first time I heard the name “Nagina” in my first year in university, I had already concluded in my thought that the lady in question wasn’t Nigerian. I played around a bit with her nationality. At first I thought it might be South African then later I settled for Somalian. “Nagina” was my hostel’s janitor. Every time girls making use of the bathroom heard her footsteps they ran away with the speed of light. Not long after I had moved in- probably two weeks, I heard a plump girl just two rooms away from mine refer to her as “Mrs Bickerson.”
Then it dawned on me that my presumed South African or Somalian “Nagina” was a Nigerian and had a reputation for nagging.
Nagging is the act of finding fault or complaining in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner. Mostly done by women afraid to lose something or are insecure. Sometimes women who find themselves in this position tend to feel remorse especially when their partners may not have done anything to warrant being recipients of that unwholesome behaviour. Nagging is attributed more to women who are afraid to lose something or are insecure. Sometimes, nagging and it’s effect are not relegated to just partners but also to kids and whoever might be close to you at the point in time.
This incessant conflict in interpersonal communication does not only drive your partner mad and hurts intimacy. It scares him, the kids and other people close to you away. Nagging or bickering could have you emotionally drained and certainly strain the love in your relationship or marriage.
Take these tips to heart to break that habit;
Be truthful to yourself
Sometimes you might be prompted to prove that you are always right, this will lead to your being infuriated and making relentless complain. Making a complaint constructively is not a bad thing but not being able to state out your grievances like an adult is a red flag. Tell yourself the truth, admit to the fact that you are not right but just angry – In a case when you are the offender.
Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill
“Keep the ish on the ish.” Go spot-on concerning the matter at hand and avoid springing up past grievances. Unearthing past grievances and fights will only lead to a more toxic relationship between the both of you. Desiring to know how your partner feels will help the situation too.
Don’t go all bossy about it
Don’t insist that a task be done on your schedule “You’ve got to fix the circuit today!” Says who? What about going a little bit soft
“When are you planning to trim the hedges?” If possible, show why something needs to be done by a certain time -“Will you be able to trim the hedges before our party next week?” I am sure it sounds a lot more better.
Keep a check on your temper and tone
When you notice your temper and tone is getting infuriated, it is advisable to take deep breath or walk away. When you feel calm and your partner is more receptive to a discussion, tell them how much you miss those nights when you used to eat dinner together and laugh and talk. Never go to bed bitter.