A LETTER TO THE CHILD I NEVER MET
It is a heartbreaking experience for a woman to miscarry her child. An experience women all over the world find very difficult to move on from. The expectations and the what-ifs questions that wouldn’t just stop running through one’s mind. Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.The causes of miscarriage vary from fatal genetic problems to infections to uterine abnormalities.
A mom who will love to be kept anonymous decided to seek closure from this heartbreaking experience by sharing with us a letter she wrote to a child she never met.
Hi little one, I hope you get to read this from over there and I hope you smile reading this.
I found out you existed exactly 9:43, March 8, 2017. It was a busy Wednesday morning, I had been experiencing a slight fever a day before and I decided to stop by the hospital before heading to work. You can imagine my surprise when the doctor told me it wasn’t fever at all, it was you making yourself comfortable in my belly. I will never forget the smile that made its way to my face, the surge of energy I experienced. It was my first time, the feelings and the thoughts were indescribable.
I couldn’t wipe off the wide smile on my face that morning. Throughout that day I kept thinking of the most unusual way to break the news to your dad. So here’s what I did; I went to a store and bought few baby items. A bath, price fishers’ baby rocker and few toys, I carefully arranged them in the guest room and waited patiently for your dad to come home. After welcoming him back and asking him how his day went, I casually told him we had a new tenant and the tenant had moved in with their load.
His facial expression was priceless, and where’s this tenant and their load. I directed him to the guest room and pointed to the baby items I had gotten earlier. Oh Aria, he was so excited about the news. You warmed our hearts with love and joy, we fell in love with you immediately we knew about you. That night we named you Aria.
You were my little baby, you had a face and a mixture of your daddy and I’s personality. Every day was filled with the thoughts of you and at every chance I got my palms made rest on my tummy. It was my way of connecting with you, I can remember standing in front of the mirror talking to you every morning. You were my sunshine for three months and I blossomed in the light you gave me
I remember the night it happened, for the first time in my life I knew what fear was; it was like I could touch it and taste it. One minute I was in the bathroom with blood rolling down my thighs the next I was on the hospital bed. I remember how I tried to be strong when the female doctor walked into the hospital room telling me to be strong and I will be okay. My hands flew to my belly, I couldn’t believe my little baby wasn’t there anymore. I kept whispering My Aria as I clutched your dad’s hands.
It’s been over a year now, and I’m learning to move on. I understand God needed you more and its all part of a bigger picture. We have Roy now, I don’t believe I will ever completely forget about you.
You will always be My Aria and my sunshine. I know you will be as beautiful as I have made you out to be in my thoughts and dreams.
So here’s to you my sunshine,
My child I never met.