Toxic relationships are rampant to the point where they are accepted as “normal,” and happy couples are cast in a light of suspicion. Nobody can really be that happy together…can they?
Take a moment to consider just how unfortunate this mindset is. We live in a society that happiness and kindness are actually less accepted than mistreatment and struggle. This is a roadblock for many people, because they form an automatic distrust of those who are, in fact, the “good ones.”
So, how can we change this perception and actually accept the right love into our life after experiencing the wrong ones?
Develop love for yourself
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be. This will be a different process for each of us, as we all have different insecurities and past experiences, but the truth is that if we aren’t happy with ourselves, then we won’t ever be happy with someone else.
Fulfillment – real fulfillment comes from within. It does not come with acceptance or approval from others, because no matter what they say or how many compliments they give you, you will always be questioning how genuine they are being since you don’t hold these beliefs about yourself. I don’t mean the “selfie love” of our generation where we compliment ourselves on social media and show the world how great we are – I mean the type of inner confidence that never allows us to do that in the first place. Find it, and you will find happiness.
There are good people
This is where the foundation is built. If you automatically think that people in general are bad or unworthy of your trust, then you will be meeting every new situation with disdain and skepticism. I am not saying to blindly trust everyone you meet – ofcourse they have to earn it. But, the ones who will, are out there.
Give love first
To be loved, we have to be lovable. Being cold and shut off to people who care about you (or who could potentially care about you) will do nothing but push them away. I know this is difficult if you have a hard time trusting people, but nobody said developing happiness was going to be easy. We have to step outside of our comfort zone, because if we continue to stay inside it we will continue to get what we are already getting.
Give a friend a hug, give a compliment to a stranger, smile at someone who looks like they are having a tough day. Open yourself up and you will see just how quickly people respond positively to you.
If someone puts in time and effort for you, whether it be something big or small, it’s important to recognize their genuine intentions and trust when they tell you how much they care.