HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH SACRIFICE IN MARRIAGE?
I was surfing through Instagram last night when I came across a post containing some of the rules Meghan Markle will be following upon marrying Prince Harry and taking up the title as the Duchess of Sussex; immediately I was triggered to writing this piece. Marriage is indeed a beautiful union no doubt; it is a sacred union with an equal partnership involving two adult individuals of the opposite sex coming together so they can be one. Most importantly, marriage is a commitment that leads to a sacrificial behaviour and attitude of both partners.
I had a friend who met her husband when she was in high school, and luckily for them, they got married. At the beginning of their marriage, it was smooth, sweet and gentle but as expected life began to throw challenges at them that they needed to overcome. My friend was working in a movie theatre part-time while her husband was working as an accountant in a small company. Soon, she had to go to school to further her education and that was when they began to have financial issues; at first, her husband thought she was inconsiderate seeing that they were not financially buoyant but was still insisting on going to school. But as a husband who had promised to love, cherish, nurture and care for his wife, he had to let her go and what he did next blew my mind. He took up a second job, just so he could pay her fees and not have her work while in school; that alone to me showed commitment and it was at that point I realised ‘marriage is never really for the weak‘.
Sacrifice is an essential element for a strong marriage; it is seen as giving up something without resentment or doing something extra in order to have something or help someone else. In marriage, sacrifice is often about making efforts for the betterment of the other person. Sometimes, these choices can be minor like watching shows the other person enjoys, making meals the other person loves and other times it could go as far leaving a job or changing career paths.
For Meghan Markle, selfies are no longer allowed, no autographs, no social media, no more acting, she can’t share opinion about politics, no traveling without mourning clothes, no miniskirts, no crossing of legs and no black nail polish these are just some of the things she will have to forfeit for the rest of herself. As much as some of us see these things as minor sacrifices the truth is, it is a lot for someone to live with but for Meghan Markle, she described this change as transitioning into a new chapter that gives her the platform to impact in the lives of people positively.
Sacrifice involves setting aside our insistent inner self that wants to be first and the focus of attention which involves choice. It doesn’t mean that we become invisible or insignificant. We don’t give up our true selves; in fact, when the motive is pure and intent is noble, our minds and souls grow and glow brighter. No matter how hard the society tries to paint sacrifice as slavery, the truth is it is essential in every union and the only way to be content with your act of sacrifice is if it involves someone who is selfless with you.