LEARN HOW TO TAKE A COMPLIMENT
Seriously, what is it with Nigerian women and compliments?
It’s like we have been programmed not to accept or believe compliments especially the ones that come from the opposite sex. Over 80% of Nigerian women find it hard to accept a compliment, no matter how confident and comfortable they are with themselves; they just always find a way to ignore it. To make it more interesting, some don’t even have the right responses to these compliments. Imagine telling a lady ‘you smell nice‘ and her response is ‘so I smell terrible most the time‘; who answers a compliment with a question (Nigerian women). There are some women who don’t even know how to take a compliment even if it was staring them in the face. Some of these women have heard too many fake compliments that they don’t believe it anymore whether it’s true or not.
A research carried out by a group of Japanese Scientists recently showed that people perform better when other people compliment them. According to Professor Sadato:
To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money. We’ve been able to find scientific proof that a person performs better when they receive a social reward after completing an exercise. There seems to be a scientific validity behind the message ‘praise to encourage improvement’. Complimenting someone could become an easy and effective strategy to use in the classroom and during rehabilitation.
The truth still remains that women love compliments and although we find it hard receiving them, it’s just a technique used by them to downplay this act of praise in other to avoid being seen as cocky or sometimes they are just shy.
Below are examples of how Nigerian women respond to compliments:
Compliment: Your skin looks good.
Response: Really? , we thank the Lord, If I hear.
Compliment: Your hair is really nice.
Response: I didn’t even know.
Compliment: You look good.
Response: My head is swelling, stop lying, you are whining me, who are you deceiving, abeg abeg abeg.
Compliments: Nice shoes
Response: I know, I hear it every time.
Below are ways we can respond to compliments:
Don’t always stop at ‘thank you’ express your gratitude. For example, someone compliments a nice bag you have; smiling and saying ‘thank you’ is not enough. Take it a step further by saying ‘thank you I got it from royale suites store’ or ‘thanks I appreciate your compliment’.
Don’t try to deflect or reject a compliment; don’t respond saying ‘thanks but it was really nothing’ allow yourself feel proud of what you have accomplished.
If it were to be a group project, then also try to give credit to other group members, by saying ‘we all worked really hard on this project, thanks for acknowledging it’
Don’t return compliments as if it were a competition. Don’t respond saying ‘thank you but I don’t think I am nearly as talented as you are. Instead, say ‘thanks I appreciate that. I think you gave a really great presentation as well’.
Let’s start learning how to appreciate compliments without any self-deprecation or changing of the subject.