INFERTILITY JOURNAL: WHEN THE MIRACLE BABY NEVER SHOWS UP
No one infertility story is the same, they differ like the left does from the right but both carry the same characteristics of leaving our heart broken when we hear them. The never ending struggles of trying to have a baby and sometimes the stories of women who have been broken by their predicament wishing to be pregnant just for a day. When the journey feels endless and all hope is gone there’s a question that creeps into the mind of every woman on this journey, one nobody wants to admit they have heard or give an answer to.
The question is:
What if I never get pregnant or have a baby?
The question is a harsh truth and a reality most women are not ready to face, but the truth is that for some, infertility is their reality. No matter how hard they will it, they don’t get the opportunity to hold their biological child in their arms or visit the pink-themed hospital room. It doesn’t mean God loves them less or he abandoned them, sometimes his answer for them might just be a little different from what we are accustomed to.
God never leaves us without a miracle, miracles sometimes come in acceptance of the situation, trusting that regardless of what happens, He his God, choosing trust and faith instead of soaking the pillows with tears. Choosing trust, faith, joy and hope in the midst of an incredible heartbreak on its own is a little miracle.
Eventually, the ‘miracle baby’ does come. The miracle baby might not come in the form of those two red lines on pregnancy test strips but, in filled mounds of paperwork and submitted fingerprints for background checks. There might be no gender reveal but a referral, instead of a noisy delivery room what you might get is a quiet courtroom and instead of returning home with a baby wrapped in an all pink/ blue and squishy tiny blanket you might be returning with a 5 month or 5 years old baby.
Are you struggling with infertility? Is the question that plagues your mind, “what if I never have a miracle baby?” I can assure you, there’s a miracle baby waiting for you. Shift your focus from the ‘how’ it happens; biologically or opting for an adoption and instead put your total trust him. One day, it won’t hurt as bad as it does now. One day you will find your place and your path and you will feel confident and at peace with it and it will be beautiful.