Don’t let the questions and interviews from your family distract you from the season that you’re in.
If you’re single – they want to know why you don’t have a man as they try to give you advice on how to get and find one.
Then, if you’re newly married –everyone is going to have the best marriage advice that works for your marriage. And, they will be questioning you on when you’re going to have kids. They know that you were only married for 2.3 months but they want a child.
Then, if you’ve had a couple kids, they want to know when you’re going to stop or what form of birth control are you using. They will also tell you how you need to raise your children. (Although they may have some good tips, take those and reject the bad stuff)
Do you see the trend? Don’t let your family’s discontentment rub off on you. They may come from a good place, but if you know that God hasn’t opened those doors for a reason, then you have to be so sure of your identity in Christ, that you won’t let what anyone else says ruffle your feathers.
Identity defined: “The fact of being who or what a person or thing is”
Let’s look at these scriptures:
Ephesians 1:5 “He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”
Romans 6:6 “For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.”
Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in HI sown image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them.”
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s royal special possession, that you may declare the praises to Him who called you out of darkness.”
So, if you know that your IDENTITY is this:
1. You belong to Jesus Christ.
2. He adopted you as His own.
3. Your old man is gone, so you no longer think, act and pursue what the world pursues.
4. You’re created in His image, so there’s nothing “wrong with the way you look.”
5. Before you were even born, God assigned you with a purpose and a PATH for your life, this path won’t look like anybody else’s path.
It’s very easy for me to lovingly correct family members (or anyone else) if they say things that are out of line. I know my lane. I know my identity. I know what I am called to do. I know who I am. When you are confident in your identity in Christ and WHO He called you to be, you can stand firm in where God has placed you in this season because you TRUST HIM and HIS timing.
So, if you’re getting any of the:
“You’re not getting any older.”
“Your clock is ticking.”
“You better hurry up.”
“You need more of this or that.”
Remind them that:
“The plans that God has for you are so good and at the right TIME, you will be sure to let them know of the great things that He has done.”
Show the love of Christ through your EXAMPLE of patience. This generation is very impatient and NEVER satisfied. But you, my sister, are satisfied and content with your portion.
Anybody can get a ring. You don’t just wanna bring any o’le man to the house. You want a godly man sent by the Lord. Generations will be affected by your obedience.
And, rejoice with your godly friends that get engaged this season. I went through a season where everyone was getting engaged and God was telling me to break things off with my then boyfriend. I’m like JESUS. You mean to tell me that I have to START all over? And while they’re planning weddings, I am over here – still single?
It was during that season that I really turned to scripture to see who I was in Christ. I asked myself a few questions:
1. Am I still valuable as a single? YES
2. Does God still have a purpose for me right now? YES
3. Do I want to be married? YES
But, more than wanting to be married – was recognizing that I am valuable right now and I have purpose right now. I never ignored my desire to get married. I never ignored my desire to have children or even a good marriage. I prayed for those things. I prayed for a godly man as a single. I prayed for godly children – even after our miscarriage.
Although my desires were THERE, my attention shifted to knowing my IDENITY. When I became confident in WHO God called me to be, I became content in Heather alone – free from titles and whatever else. I didn’t NEED (this or that) in order to be satisfied. I was satisfied with our without those things.
If you’re finding yourself in the midst of conflict this Thanksgiving with family or friends – my best advice would be to pursue PEACE. You cannot change those family members. What is the point of getting involved in meaningless conversations that bring drama?
Philippians 2:14 says “Do everything without complaining or arguing.”
2 Timothy 2:23-24 says, “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”
There are certain conversations and discussions that I will not engage in. For example, if you know that a certain family supports the LGBT community and rallies against it every year and you do not – then why argue with them AGAIN this year about it? Instead, pray that their eyes will be opened to the truth. Pray that they will see God’s design for marriage. And, when you ask about it- lovingly tell them: “we are going to agree to disagree on this one. Let’s just enjoy dinner. How’s your job going?”
As believers, we must have some fruit of the spirit – or self-control in our lives. I believe that living for Jesus will plant seeds in your families heart that will encourage them to live for Jesus!
So let’s pursue peace, be content in our portion, refuse to engage in silly arguments and walk by faith.