During dinner with my best friend last night, I overheard a group of women chit-chatting about why they felt they needed to marry wealthy husbands. The situation in the country, they described was dire and the sudden fuel scarcity had a number of people up-in arms. They were not excluded. They went further to add that their jobs were paying them very little which had led them to ponder on what they could accomplish as girls with morals. They vented about their friends who had grown up alongside them and how they seemed to be getting along just fine, the only clause; they had rich, older, married boyfriends.

After that comment, another young lady in the group was quick to speak on how she’s realized that the months where she had a lot to spare were the months where she cared less about what was going to happen to her or how her finances were going to be tabled. She spoke of how she had been raised by a single father whose wife had abandoned them due to poverty. She spoke of how his handling of that situation taught her to learn to place things in God’s hands. She never saw him angry or upset, instead, he made himself the most present father ever. It was after all just she and him, she described. In the end, she was able to go to a good school due to his good spirits which attracted help from church and just people he had helped in times past. She now earns enough to take care of their basic needs, even though it could be better she countered.

“My fondest memories are of my father buying N10 puff-puff and N5 pure water for me to eat at night. He would tell me I was special and I had been a good girl that’s why he was buying it. Even though it would be everyday that week, I truly grew up believing it.”

Social media has made it worse, another said.

You will see one girl carrying designer hand-bag and traveling to America when her father hasn’t even gone to the airport and you’ll know she’s getting it from her sugar daddy somewhere. I still double tap because it looks lavish. It’s just a pity,  I could never do it.

There was a sadness to her eyes as she said this.

It hit me that young women were being either bullied by their peers who had sought out other means of income that did not involve working in its strictest form, or they believed that they would never get it together in time to make a success of themselves in future or that they had to marry into wealth to make it in life. It also dawned on me that the reality of the ‘twenty-something’ in this generation is rather different from those from the generation before it even though they were only 10 years apart. This fear and constant state of doubt can actually be the key element that makes all the difference and not in a good way.

So, dear twenty-somethings, by all means live within your means, surround yourself with friends who you can tell you’d rather hang out indoors over a movie and a bowl of popcorn than go out because you’re trying to stick to a budget this month, encourage your friends and yourselves to do the work and allow for God to bless the works of your hands, encourage each other to not give up on the values you were taught growing up as children in Sunday School, spend less time on the internet and read an auto-biography of some of the greatest people in the world- learn from them and their mistakes, put your time to good use and the little steps you take now will make all the difference. You really can have the life that you dream of having, it’s all about sticking it out by doing the work and letting God do the rest. Rest easy, this too shall pass and just like your parents and those that went before you, you too shall survive, have a family and all the beautiful things you want out of life if you resign to walking hand-in-hand with God to fulfill His purpose over your life.

At this point, best friend and I were so engrossed in their conversation that they noticed we were eavesdropping. I quickly introduced myself and told them they were inspiration for my piece to be published the next day. They had asked that their surnames not be revealed but they granted me permission to use their conversation for this write-up.

So, to Foluke, Diana, Grace, Ifeoma. Thank you. Keep shining and stop worrying. God’s got you! (They also asked for a shout-out)


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  1. Femsueds

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