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30 AND SINGLE? HERE’S WHY IT ISN’T SUCH A BAD THING AFTERALL

So you’re probably getting invites to baby showers because the wedding invites have now ceased as everyone and their sisters are all married. It’s not time to fret however and we’ve listed some reasons why.

You’re ok with going to places on your own.

We happen to know individuals who cannot attend any event on their own—they need a partner for everything, typically because they’ve been in a long-term relationship for a good part of their life and it is all they know. (We should also mention that we have plenty of coupled-up pals that are fine with flying solo!) When you’re single in your 30s, you likely find yourself sans wingman a lot—many of your friends have married and started families, so if you’re not dating anyone, it can be hard to rope someone in to being your plus-one to obligatory events like birthday parties, engagement parties, etc. So, you get used to going it alone, which is a good thing, because life is long and unpredictable, and though you will absolutely find a partner if you want one, there are inevitably times in which you have to fly solo. You’re way ahead of the curve on being okay with this.

Logic is your friend.

You get to choose. No really, you get to make a well informed decision on who you partner with. While your heart is still in the game, the intelligence and wisdom you garnered over the years is also in full swing. Although you may have been led solely by your heart or your hmmm – let’s say, lady parts – in the past, this time around you have much more control over “Her” and she is probably the last part of you that has a say.

You are real about what you want

You’re no longer looking to please anyone or worried about what the next person might say. You’re old enough to know exactly what you want and do not mind letting him know. In your thirties, everyone in the game knows why they are in it and what they are in it for! Communication between potential partners become very clear, intentions are set almost immediately, and there are no guessing games! Mind games are a thing of the younger years, at this point. There’s just no time to while away at this point.

You build on the ground you laid in your ’20s

You laid some good ground in your ’20s hence the #dirtythirties party you threw for yourself. It is time to come to a point you realise that all that work is not going to go waste. You will continue to build on the solid foundation that you have created meaning that you are no longer willing to settle for someone bringing nothing to the table. All that work can’t ve for nothing and when the time is right, God will bring you to a good man who will not just be something good to look at but will complement your fascinating mansion.

You get to skip the relationship advice section in Cosmo

 You know yourself well enough to know what gives. You no longer look to magazines, blog posts etc for help with relationships. By now, you could probably even interview for the contributor position yourself as you have enough experience in the dating game to last you a life time.

You value love a lot more now.

Love. It’s been so difficult to find yet, you haven’t given up. By now, you have fewer friends and a lot more love to give and invest in solid relationships so you’d have learnt to cherish love a lot more. You invest more in your friendships and time with your family. The issues your friends are facing and dealing with are also a lot deeper than what you faced in the past so you learn to really be present. Your knowledge of how fleeting life can be is also very poignant at this point so you learn that love doesn’t come easy or often so when you get it, you’re really able to cherish it.

You can be impulsive

As an unattached thirty-something, you have the perfect combination of financial resources, good health and savvy which collectively allow for the possibility of totally transforming your life without having to consider factors such as your child, your husband, your husband’s family. You really get to simply put like the Nike ad, just do it! You want to travel to Paris for 6 months and work from there all thanks to technology? Well then, you get to do it for yourself. You get to be selfish.

You get to learn from the mistakes of others

If you’re single in your 30s, chances are you’ve watched quite a few friends get married, make babies in their white picket fence. While initially, these milestones may incite jealousy, eventually the you also get a front row seat to see them for what they really are—trade-offs that require a lot of work. This isn’t to say they’re not worth the sacrifice, it just means that the longer you wait to make these moves, the more time you will have to think mindfully about which scenarios actually make you happiest. Children and marriage or the reverse? Maybe you always thought you wanted children, for example, but after seeing the reality of what that entails you’ve changed your mind. Maybe you figured you would be a stay-at-home mom, but then you heard firsthand from friends how challenging that can be and have decided to remain committed to some version of your career. Maybe, after watching friends struggle with money, you’ve decided financial stability is an important criteria for anyone you seriously consider as a life partner. Whatever the revelation may be, you probably wouldn’t have known it with such clarity had you not been able to bear witness to the trials and tribulations of your trailblazing friends.

So maybe your 30s haven’t really gone as planned i.e. no children and(or) husband. It’s not such a bad thing after all. There are many things to still love about your journey. Did we miss out anything? Are you 30 and single? share some of your non-guilty pleasures with us in the comment box below.




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