Dear God,

I have been through a period where I have tried to understand the best times in the day in which you like speaking to me. I have learnt that you speak at all times if only I will be still enough to hear you. It is in this moment that I also learnt that one of the ways you try to speak to me is by making me uncomfortable, rocking my boat so hard that I am in a space where I start to feel imbalanced. Sink or Swim? My two options it seems but then I am reminded that you chose the third option,  you walked on water.

Paul, the apostle, also walked and then started to sink as soon as he let go of you, as soon as he let go of his faith. But you wouldn’t let him sink, you brought him back into the boat. In that period, he was also uncomfortable but you used the discomfort to teach him a lesson. Am I your new age Paul? Do I sink when I lose my faith and start to fix the problems with my own might? Will I learn every time I try to that you are God all by yourself and I cannot do without you.

Now, I know. Every time I sense discomfort, every time I’m crippled by panic, I know it’s you showing up on the water asking me to walk above my discomfort. What’s making me panic? Are you not God and will you not do it? If your word upon my life will not return to you void, why do I fret? Why do I not see it for what it is, you instructing me that this is a lesson, this is a stepping stone, I’m going higher but first I need to pass the test. I need to take the teachings that my journey has presented before me.

I ask that in future, you not take away the discomfort. In fact, I now embrace it because in them I see you. My Teacher, My friend, My partner in this life thing, I see you and I bow in humble adoration knowing that ears have not heard what you have in store for me.


The Uncomfortable.

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