Globally, we are more connected now than we have ever been in the world. With all of the social media platforms, internet, and travel, we can find anyone to link up with. But seriously, how many of those people are your friends and you can count on them?
Let’s even think about how many friends you had when you were in high school. When you graduated together, you probably thought you’d be friends forever. Then, college and careers came along. Your entire circle probably shifted to meet your interests and profession. You might have felt bad about letting people go to the way side, but it was time to move on.
After launching your career or business, getting married, or having kids, you tend to go through this on a more realistic scale. You may find yourself hanging out in smaller groups. You may not have the long conversations you once had. It gets kind of tricky because you realize that maybe those friendships were “situationships”. You just happened to be in the same job, city, or organization. That doesn’t mean you guys don’t share a connection, but it was only for what you had going on at that time. And guess what? That’s ok! Don’t be upset that you couldn’t keep the friendship going solid. It was a time and season for that like everything else under the sun. If anything, those “situationships” should teach you how to value the people who are really there for you at any time in your life. It should also open you up to evaluate any potential friendship you are in or may have in the future. Here are three things you should look for in a friend:
What type of energy are you hoping to attract in your friendships? Whatever you are on the inside will attract people on the outside. Be mindful of what you allow into your life. If you want to thrive in your relationship with God, then you might not want to hang out with a person who goes to the club every weekend. Those vibes just won’t work. Be ok with cutting off people who serve you no sense of growth.
“Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for ‘bad company corrupts good character.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT
Your friends should push you out of your comfort zone. They will tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts. This is the surest way I can know if I really should have this person in my life. Every time I finish having a conversation with them, I feel like I have been sharpened. My real friends won’t let me lay around in my mess. They push me to be a better person every day.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 NLT
What are your friends pouring into you? Can you really trust them to come through for you if you had a dire emergency? Or will they flake out on you? You shouldn’t have to force people to be there for you. It should come natural. You shouldn’t have to call or text them time and time again and get no response. Your friends should try to show their efforts and significance of your relationships. It’s not rocket science if your friends are reciprocating what you are giving out to them.
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” Proverbs 3:27
Jasmine L. Thomas is a follower of Christ, lover of family, a powerful educator, an entrepreneur, and an encourager to everyone she encounters. She is a passionate advocate for educational and Christian-based empowerment amongst youth and women. To live out this calling, Jasmine has a tutoring business and a nonprofit organization – Limitless Learning Tutoring, LLC and She’s Worthy with The Mindset Queen Coaching Program. Jasmine believes that people should be given the proper mind enriching tools to elevate their lives to the next level.