Discovering your identity

Identity is defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary as the distinguishing character or personality of an individual, but how do you personally define identity? Are you able to clearly articulate what this word means to you, if anything? If you were approached, perhaps by a complete stranger, and the question was asked, “Who You Are,” would you be able to answer, with certainty and confidence? I know those questions may seem a bit overwhelming but knowing who are, knowing who God has called you to be, and even knowing the things that others have spoken over you are directly related to how you view yourself and how you allow others to treat you.

Whether you know it or not, there are many relational issues, both romantic and platonic, that stem from a lack of identity, some of which may be unnoticeable because it’s been such a detrimental habit for so long. I am no relationship expert but life experiences have taught me a few valuable lessons. If you currently find yourself in the same type of situations but with different faces, it is time to make a change. If you are constantly changing circles and lack consistency in friends, guess that? It is time to make a change in that areas as well! Here’s the newsflash of it all, it is time for you to acknowledge the role that you play in your unhealthy relationships; and yes, I said you! At some point in time, we must acknowledge that sometimes, we can also be the problem. Poor decision making can led us down a rabbit hole of hell especially when lack of identity is an issue.

Struggles with identity can take place at a very early age when we do not realize the power of the words spoken against us or when there is a lack of positive affirmation. There is power in knowing who are you; once you know you worth and your value it completely changes the trajectory of life.

So how do we tackle this thing of identity?

  • Research the Word: You may not be a Bible reader, but inside this historic book lies the answers to your identity. Only in Christ Jesus are you able to find who you are and who God has called you to be. So get ready to dig deep and do a great deal of soul searching! For this step, it’s really just that simple. Read and study the Word.
  • Positive Affirmation: Before you receive the love of another person, whether as a friend or as a significant other, you must experience self-love. Some of us arise each morning and never take the time to acknowledge ourselves. We reply to text messages from the night before. We check our social media pages. We arise late most mornings and run from the start to end of each day. But tomorrow try something different, don’t touch your phone. Pray, mediate, and challenge yourself to speak three positive things about you to you each morning. Try not to be repetitive, there is more to you than you think! You were created in the image of God, so if you are having a hard time, search His Word! The truth about your identity rests there whenever a reminder is needed.
  • Cancel Negativity: With the positive, also comes the realistic approach of conquering the negative. Take some time out to sit down and analyze some of the negative things you’ve spoken over you and some of the things spoken by others. I am sure this process will not be complete in one sitting, so work this step in stages, but do not delay the process too long. Conquering and confronting the negative will be difficult, but you can do it! Remember, Your Heavenly Father has already spoken to your identity in stating that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.


These three tasks alone will keep you quite busy with your discovering your identity. Completing this task is not met to be a quick process, so do not rush it. Each day, challenge yourself to speak to who you are in a positive light while rejecting the statements that were previously spoken and damaged your self-image.



Kiara Potts is a native of small town, Tallassee, AL and is the Founder and CEO of Key Inspires, Writing and Resume Services. Described by family and friends as an “Instrument of Help” and a “Worldwide Beacon of Inspiration,” Kiara uses her current platform to inspire others to become confident in their pursuit of a professional career while offering motivational nuggets of encourage to fuel their personal ambitions. The vision for Key Inspires was truly birthed on accident through the creation of hashtag but this vision was of no surprise to God. For more information, you may find Kiara online at or on social media @KeyInspires via Facebook and Instagram.

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